The simple ministry of presence
What does it mean to be present for someone? Stacie Tan (front row, third from left) reflects on the meaning of ‘accompaniment’ after visiting refugee communities in Malaysia with a group of JRS volunteers in July.
Stepping into PERCH, we were greeted by the team that was taking care of this convalescent home specially set up for refugees. Almost half the team comprised past or existing patients who are now able-bodied enough to assist in the operations or clinical needs of the centre. During my visit, I started a conversation with Taw, a refugee in his 50s from Myanmar who has been nursing a broken shin bone at PERCH for the last 8 months. When I initiated a few questions, Taw would casually reply them with a smile. As I tried to take the conversation further, I learnt that Taw made his way to Malaysia through Thailand. I then asked if he spoke Thai — he did! Taw is a linguist; aside from Burmese, Taw is also fluent in his native dialect, Thai, Malay and Cantonese, as well as basic Hokkien.
With my basic Cantonese and broken Thai, we then bounced into a ping pong-like conversation, going back and forth with my curious questions and Taw’s enlivened and cheerful narrations, sprinkled with light jokes. Taw shared his perilous journey when he left his hometown at the age of 17, landing in various countries, including Singapore! Currently living in Malaysia, Taw runs a food stall with his wife and younger brother in the heart of Kuala Lumpur (KL). A rarity amongst many refugees, Taw has refugee status from UNHCR and was set to resettle in USA. However, Taw chose to stay in Malaysia as he patiently waits for his 14-year old daughter to join him.
Halfway through the conversation, Taw said in Cantonese, “I tell you something, because you speak the same language and we can talk….”. He then shared a personal anecdote, for which I greatly cherish and was honoured to hold space for. Soon, it was time for the team to leave for lunch. Taw turned to me and gleefully asked me to visit him at his stall when I return to KL. “Surely!” I joyfully agreed and immediately saved the location of his stall onto my Google map. As we bid farewell, I sensed Taw’s earnest spirit and sincere wishes. Although it was only a brief encounter of no more than half hour, the vulnerability and trust that he offered was one that I held with great reverence and fondness.
Whilst there are many limitations to what we can do to change the plight of the millions of refugees in our times, one concrete aspect that we can offer is our presence which underlies one of the three pillars of JRS’ mission — Accompaniment. In those moments of true companionship, a scared space is created where those who are willing to connect, will likely experience an edifying encounter. It is these human connections that remind us that God is with us, as manifested in our fellow brothers and sisters. I hope that this little encounter with Taw may add some joy and strength for him to soldier on in the midst of his life’s multifaceted struggles, just as how it has added a glow to my heart. I look forward to his full recovery and to visit him and his family at his food stall in my next visit to KL.
I conclude this reflection with a quote from Henri Nouwen that reverberates the power of offering presence:
“More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence”.
Written by JRS volunteer Stacie Tan, a Catholic whose life is greatly enriched and humbled by the wisdom, resilience and generosity of minority communities, especially those living in the peripherals.